#or killing the joke
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how are miles haters going to cope with the fact that they’ll never experience the soul pleasure of listening to caught in the act
#or adios ta ra#or loaded#or rearrange#or inhaler#or telepathy#or happenstance#or my fantasy#or taking over#or tonight#or darkness in our hearts#or give up#or you’re gonna get it#or out of control#or first of my kind#or don’t let it get you down#or change the show#or coming of age#or see ya when i see ya#or constantly#or caroline#or blame it on the summertime#or la five four#or cry on my guitar#or silverscreen#or shavambacu#or wrong side of life#or killing the joke#or heal#or scared of love#or baggio
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I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishistic"
#have seen screenshot after screenshot of that video saying love lies bleeding is fetishizing lesbians and?? muscles??#i cant take this shit anymore#text#anyway stay horny!#concerning tags y'all!! bobbi is joking! sarcasm! joking!#(for the later reblogs with the added screenshots)#y'all are killing me with these notes though this was formatted to be like. a 30 note max rant post.
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day#and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back.#he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi#he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes#but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them.#and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him.#your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back.#i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently
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"I think this Category of human being is disposable" okay that not only sucks and is fascist but also makes getting you to deem someone to be disposable a simple matter of convincing you they're in The Category regardless of the truth. Also The Category is often misapplied to a vulnerable minority because it makes people like you agree they're disposable.
"Anyone who disagrees with me about The Category of people being disposable is a Category apologist or probably also in The Category themselves" Oh so you're just totally unconcerned with truth or justice or ethics or human rights and just are feeding your bloodlust for the sake of revenge fantasies. got it 👍
#“I've solved it! We just kill all the Bad People so all the Good People can live safe happy undisturbed lives 🥰” That's Fascism.#If your solution to wrongdoing is to just kill evryone who's Too Evil then your only problem with concentration camps is who's in them#“The world would be a better place if *I* was in charge of who lives and who dies.” That's Not Very Fucking Leftist Of You.#Your only problem with the evil empire is that you're not in charge of it. Your politics are a joke and your ethical backbone is liquid.#problemnyatic thoughts
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the whole trojan war could have been avoided if paris just. ate the apple in one comically large bite. athena, hera, and aphrodite would have been stunned into silence.
#and yes they may have all smited paris together after that but oh well#paris of troy#tagamemnon#i never know if i’m using that tag right#iliad#the trojan war#also i’m aware zeus would’ve killed a ton of people one way or another this is just a silly joke lol
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happy pride month????
#idk if anyone's already posted this on here#i've seen it on reddit and twt but not tumblr#sorry if you've already seen this#so proud of him for coming out#<- JOKE#don't kill me#smallishbeans#joel#joel smallishbeans#horsemeatposting
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FNAF Gregory easily could of defeated Chica like this
(Based of @/CenoCrocodile post)
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#fnaf gregory#glamrock chica#security breach#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#IT WAS TOO sour for her :(#I’ve done this lemon joke like AGES ago so it’s fun to do it again#Gregory played around too much to get Chica’s voice box#it was this easy all along promise#it’s a cheat code he didn’t know about#idk what chica did to deserve her fate#she liked pizza and was girlypop and they killed her for it#one day hopefully justice for glamrock chica 🩷
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this is how logic chess works right
#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ace attorney#please ignore how unrendered this is I've been. honestly really down lately and struggling to focus on the things I actually need to do#so I'm making dumb art to kill the bad vibes!!! hopefully#much as I love 'everyone has a magic lawyer ability except edgeworth' jokes I also want to image that when he does logic chess it's like#a real place they go to#that whoever he's talking to just has to deal with#I'm proud of the Chess Halo I think that's one of the best artistic decisions I've made in my life
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Aang: All life is sacred. I cannot, and will not, compromise my values. I mustn't take even just one life. Even if it's a monster's life, my philosophy – my culture's philosophy – is to avoid taking life at all costs. As much as you'll try to drill it in me, it's not who I am. I'm not going to kill the a single living creature, not even the Fire Lord.
Meanwhile, Sokka:
#yes i know aang ended up agreeing to kill the fire lord and THEN met the lion turtle#but this is a joke stfu#<3#atla#aang#sokka#avatar: the last airbender#avatar the last airbender#avatar#avatar aang#sozin's comet#suki#toph#atla memes#avatar memes#a:tla memes#a:tla#atla sokka#atla aang#air nomads#avatar the last airbender memes#avatar: the last airbender memes
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who had "jkr goes full nazi" on their 2024 bingo cards?
#dostxt#I feel like trans people and Jewish people have been saying she's a disgusting vile piece of shit for years#and now she's straight up posting holocaust denial shit on twitter#if you still buy her stuff at this point then I genuinely hope you kill yourself#I'm not even joking
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Im fucking crying why did he say this, bro has never been outside before😭😭
#homophobe /j#IM JOKING BUT SHADOW AKSKSKSKSKW#THE JUDGEMENT IS CRAZYY#goes outside once and he’s like ?? what are colors#he’s looking at them like they all aren’t aliens and its killing me#ONE OF THEM IS LITERALLY YOUR SPECIES SHADOW PLS LMAO#shadow honey i love you#never change#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic movie 2#sonic movie 3#sonic movie 3 trailer
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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Harvey and Kayvan at GalaxyCon Raleigh
#harvey guillén#kayvan novak#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#mine#harvey's little smirk... I couldn't not gif this#kayvan immediately makes a joke about nandor just faking his death to kill guillermo right after this btw LMAO
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